Operation What?
by Everlasting Hello
Summary: Gumi has a special project, and Len is going to help her with it, whether he wants to or not. Because apparently, nobody can wear a dress quite like the male Kagamine twin.


It was just a normal day. Len Kagamine was in his room, sprawled out on his bed, flipping through a magazine and humming. He wasn't really paying attention to what was printed on the magazine's glossy pages, he was just using it to give his hands something to do. It was Sunday, and on Sunday most of the Vocaloid house either went out and had fun or stayed home and took a nap. Either way, the house was unusually quiet.

Unfortunately for Len, things were not going to stay that way much longer.

"Yo, Len! You awake?"

Before he had a chance to answer, the door was suddenly slammed open. It was a good thing that he had installed a door stopper on the back of the door, or the doorknob would have imbedded itself in the wall. Len rolled his eyes as he closed the magazine.

"Yes, Gumi, I'm awake."

"Good!" Gumi walked in (uninvited) and plopped down on Len's bed beside him.

"What do you want?" Len asked as he sat up. Gumi smiled brightly, which only made Len more uneasy.

"I was hoping you could help me with a little pro-"

"No."

Gumi's smile switched into an instant pout, but Len easily ignored it. The Vocaloid house was full of girls who pouted to get their way (and quite a few guys did it as well), so Len had gotten used to ignoring the expression.

"But Leeeeennn-"

"Still no."

Gumi scooted closer to him and leaned over so that she could look up into his face. She gave him her best puppy dog eyes, which would easily have any boy eating out of her hand.

"No means no."

Any boy except Len, apparently.

Gumi frowned and stood up. She left the room, only to return a few minutes later with a hammer.

"Help me with my project, or I will go all nutcracker on you, if you catch my drift."

Well, crap.

* * *

"So what is this little project, and why did you rig a projector up in my bedroom?"

"All will be revealed in good time, young grasshopper," Gumi said as she navigated through the files on her laptop. "Ah, here we go!" She clicked on a Powerpoint presentation, then quickly turned the lights off. She turned on the projector and pointed it at her impromptu screen (the sheet from Len's bed).

"I would like to present to you Operation Find Out How Rinto Kagamine Swings!"

She heard something that sounded suspiciously like a window being shoved open and whirled around. Len was halfway though the window before she grabbed him.

"I don't care if you mangle me, I'm not helping you with this dumb project!" Len yelled all in one breath.

"Len, we're on the third floor of this house, so don't be stupid!" Gumi hauled him back inside and slammed his window shut. She pulled out the handcuffs she always kept in her pocket (she swore they were for emergency use only, but she usually ended up using them to get people to go along with her plans), and Len was soon handcuffed to his bed.

"If I scream, you'll be in big trouble," he growled. Gumi waved her hand in a carefree manner.

"Rin's out at the mall with Miku, so there's no one here to help you." She turned to her computer and clicked to the next slide. "Now that we've got that little misunderstanding out of the way, it's time for the presentation. Step one of Operation F.O.H.R.K.S. is this-" She clicked the mouse again, and a picture of Len in his outfit from Imitation Black popped up (outfit = dress). "You're going to put on a dress - not the Imitation Black dress, I was just using that for an example - and we're going to go to the Pitchloid house and find Rinto. Then-"

"Gumi, why on earth do you want to know how Rinto 'swings', as you put it?"

Gumi's head whipped around to look at Len, and she gave him her most intimidating glare. Again, it was an expression Len was used to seeing, so he easily ignored it.

"Do. Not. Interrupt. Me."

"You're interrupting my life!"

Gumi turned the projector off and closed her laptop.

"Fine then! I'll just be leaving-"

"You didn't answer my question," Len said firmly. Gumi stopped in the doorway. "Why does it matter to you what Rinto likes? You've never messed with anyone from the Pitchloid house before." Len couldn't get up to check (he was still handcuffed to his bed, after all) but he could guess that the green-haired girl was blushing. "Do you like Rinto?" he asked.

"If... if by 'like' you mean 'find him very attractive', then... yeah." Gumi turned to face him and giggled nervously. "I don't know him well enough to 'like' him in the true sense, but... I want to get to know him better."

"Then why don't you go visit their house instead of coming up with crazy projects?" Len asked.

"Because I can't just go into the situation blindly! What if I start to really like him, but then find out he's not into girls?"

"I don't think-" Len was cut off as Gumi clapped her hands to her cheeks. She was suddenly right in front of him and severely invading his personal zone with her face (maybe she had a teleportation device hidden in her goggles?).

"You know how it is among our kind! Homosexuality is rampant in our houses - not that there's anything wrong with that - and Rinto hasn't shown any interest either way! Even _your_ sexual orientation is easier to figure out than his!"

Len did not look very amused.

"I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual, Gumi."

"I was leaning more toward pansexual for you, actually," Gumi said nonchalantly as she did another hand wave.

"WHAT?"

"Never mind! If you must know, then Google it later, but right now we have more important concerns!"

"Right now, my most important concern is that I'm still handcuffed to my own bed," Len growled as he yanked on the handcuffed wrist.

"Whose bed would you rather be handcuffed to?" Gumi asked brightly. Len's eyes narrowed.

"I am so filing a restraining order against you."

"Okay, but later! Right now you have to help me."

Len let out a long sigh.

"Fine, but I don't see how me wearing a dress will help you. I'm not going to hit on my cousin for you."

"Oh, you won't have to! I thought of an entirely new plan while you were refusing to help me."

"Does this new plan still involve a dress?" Len asked warily.

"Of course it does, silly!"

* * *

Two hours later, Len and Gumi were standing in front of the Pitchloid house. Len was inwardly fuming, even though he was secretly grateful that he had been allowed to wear sandals instead of some crazy high heels.

Gumi had finally unlocked the handcuffs, then forced Len to change into a white sundress that was held up by two thin straps running across his shoulders. She then pulled his hair out of its usual ponytail and somehow managed to tame his bangs without using any hairspray or pins (how she did that was a mystery to him). Finally, she gave him a pair of colored contacts that turned his eyes blood red. ("What is the point of these?" "To make you harder to recognize, duh. You'll be amazed how different our kind looks when you mess around with our colors, even just a little bit. There, now you look like a totally new character!") Len had to admit that he did look different, maybe even different enough to trick a fan, but he doubted Rinto would be so easily fooled.

"So can you please explain all of your plan now?" he asked.

"Nope! Just follow me and let me do the talking!" Gumi said as she headed for the door. Len gaped at her for a second, then he quickly hurried to catch up. Gumi marched up to the front door of the Pitchloid house and knocked on it boldly. There was a pause, then the door was yanked open.

"Whadya want?" Neru snapped without looking up from her phone.

"Hey, Neru. Is Rinto home?"

"He's upstairs."

"Can you get him for us?"

Neru turned around and cupped her hands around her mouth.

"YO, RINTO! SOMEONE'S HERE TO SEE YOU!"

Len swallowed nervously. After a few moments, Rinto came downstairs and appeared in the doorway.

"Gumi? What are you doing here?" He looked at Len and raised one eyebrow in a questioning way. Len quickly looked down at his feet to avoid his cousin's gaze.

"Well, Rinto, I would like you to meet Rena Kagamine!"

Len made a face when he heard the name. Gumi's strong Japanese accent made "Rena" sound more like "Lena". Could she _be_ any more obvious?

"Rena... Kagamine?" Rinto asked.

"Yeah, she's a new fanmade that will be moving into one of the other houses."

"Funny, she reminds me of-"

"Well, you know how the fans are! They can be quite unoriginal sometimes!" Gumi giggled quietly, and Len felt like facepalming. Gumi was normally a pretty intelligent girl, but it seemed that whenever Rinto was concerned with something, her intelligence took a vacation. This entire "plan" seemed pointless and stupid to him.

"So if she's moving into one of the other houses, then why did you bring her here?" Rinto asked suspiciously.

"Because the fan who made her gave her a backstory as one of your relatives, so the masters thought it would be best if you helped her get used to the area." She suddenly looked down and grinned. "Oh look, you're already wearing shoes. Perfect, let's go!" Gumi grabbed Rinto's arm and dragged him out of the house. She took off down the street, dragging Rinto with her as Len hurried to keep up. Neru still stood beside the doorway texting. She smirked suddenly.

"Rena Kagamine. Is that the best Gumi can come up with?" She shrugged as she closed the door and walked away. "Oh well. Len looks good in a dress."

* * *

"Gumi, do you even have a plan, or are you just making it up as you go along?"

"Um, a little of both," Gumi admitted reluctantly. Len facepalmed.

The two of them were standing in the bathroom (the girl's bathroom, much to Len's annoyance) in the mall. Gumi was washing her hands repeatedly, a nervous habit she had picked up from working in laboratories.

"Okay, look, my new plan was to use you as an excuse to get Rinto to go somewhere with us," Gumi explained.

"Why am I in a dress? And how is any of this going to help you find out Rinto's orientation?" Len asked.

"Well, I was hoping to gather data from any interaction he has with you-"

"Gumi, think for a moment. You told Rinto I'm related to him. He isn't going to hit on me, whether he thinks I'm a boy or a girl."

Gumi stopped for a second and stared at her hands, then she suddenly slammed her forehead into the mirror.

"Agh! I haven't really thought this plan through, okay!"

"I can tell," Len said in a flat voice. "Your plans are usually a little more organized than this. Are you so flustered because it's Rinto?"

"I don't know..." Gumi started scrubbing her hands fiercely. Len watched her for a few seconds, then he suddenly turned and headed for the door.

"You stay right here. I'm going to go find your answer for you."

"Len, what-"

The bathroom door swung shut behind him, cutting off the end of her sentence. Len spotted Rinto standing in front of a vending machine and took a deep breath.

_Okay, Len, you can do this. Just channel your inner Rin._ He pictured his loud, spunky twin sister and flinched. _Never mind, she's too tomboyish. Channel your inner Miku instead._ It wasn't _much_ better, but at least Miku wore a skirt.

He headed towards Rinto, trying to hide the anxiety on his face. Truth be told he didn't really have a plan, but at least he was going to be more direct than Gumi.

"Hey! Your name is... Rinto, right?" Oh _hell,_ it was too easy to make himself sound like a girl. Rinto glanced at him and nodded.

"Rena, right?" Len nodded. "So what's Gumi doing?" Rinto asked.

"Oh, she got a little sick to her stomach. She's been really nervous all day."

"Really?" Rinto turned his head to look directly at Len, making the shorter blond squirm uncomfortably. Len focused his eyes on the snacks in the vending machine as he plowed ahead.

"Yeah. I think she's been worrying about this guy she likes." Rinto looked back at the vending machine as well.

"Why is she worrying about him?" he asked as he started digging in his pocket for his wallet.

"Well, she really likes him, but she's worried that he may not like girls. You can't be too sure these days." Len giggled lightly from sheer nervousness (he would later swear that such an unmanly sound had never left his lips). Rinto raised an eyebrow as he opened his wallet and pulled some money out.

"Why doesn't she just ask him?"

Len blinked, then mentally facepalmed at this.

"I don't really know. I guess she's afraid he'll be offended or something," he said quietly.

"I think that's just silly," Rinto said as he put a dollar in the machine and pressed some buttons.

"Well, some girls are silly, you know?"

Rinto nodded as he retrieved his snack from the machine's slot.

"Some boys are silly, too," he said as he held the snack out to Len. "Here. You like banana chips, right, Len?"

Len gaped for a second, then he closed his mouth and decided to just give up.

"Yeah, thanks."

* * *

"So when you said that Gumi liked some boy, you were referring to...?" Len quickly chewed up his chip and swallowed.

"You, obviously."

"Ah."

The two boys were sitting at a table in the food court. Len knew that Gumi was still in the bathroom, but he had decided to leave her there until he had some answers for her.

"And she thinks I might be gay?"

Len shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess so. If you ask me, it seems more like she was looking for any reason to avoid trying to make any progress with you, and your sexual orientation was what she chose to use."

An awkward conversation to be having with your male cousin? Yes, most definitely. However, Len wasn't wearing pants at the moment, so his brain was already overloaded with awkwardness. For now, it didn't seem like anything could embarrass him (he would probably be very embarrassed later, when all of this was just a memory that was never to be spoken of).

"And what did you pretending to be a girl have to do with this?" Rinto asked as he raised one eyebrow.

"I have no idea. It's a nice dress though, don't you think?" Len said cheerfully. Rinto laughed.

"Yes, very nice. It looks good on you. Maybe you should crossdress next Halloween."

"I'd rather not get kidnapped."

They were both quiet for a few moments as Len munched on some more chips, then he decided to ask what Gumi wanted.

"So, what do you prefer anyway? Not that I really wanted to know, but Gumi..." He trailed off awkwardly, then quickly shoved some more chips into his mouth. Rinto chuckled, then shrugged.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about that kind of stuff. I guess I don't really care about romantic relationships right now, I'm too busy being with my friends and that crazy 'family' at my house."

Len tilted his head as he thought over what Rinto had said, then he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I understand what you mean. Things can get pretty crazy in our houses." Then he frowned. "But what about Gumi? If she still likes you..." Rinto shrugged again.

"I guess I can be friends with her. If it develops into something more, than good for us."

Len smiled as he stood up.

"Yeah, I guess that's it then. I'm going to go get Gumi-"

"_Len?_"

Both boys jerked, then Len turned to face the voice. Standing just a few feet away from them were Miku and Rin. Miku's eyes were as wide as plates and her mouth was hanging open, but Rin was just smirking at her brother. Len remembered Gumi telling him earlier that Rin was at the mall with Miku and felt the sudden urge to bang his head against the wall. His sister's eyes flicked to Rinto, then back to Len.

"Are we interrupting a date or something?" she asked as her smirk grew wider.

"This is not - you don't - Gumi made me!"

"Len's... a crossdresser?" Miku asked quietly.

"NO. I was just trying to help Gumi-"

He was suddenly swept up in a massive hug by Miku.

"OOHHHHHH, YOU LOOK SO CUTE AS A GIRL! I got a ton of dresses back home that I bet you'll look even cuter in!"

"No! Bad Miku! Let me go!" Len protested. When he finally escaped the green-haired girl's hug, he quickly stormed off.

"Where are you going?" Rinto asked as he hurried to catch up to the angry blond.

"I'm going home and changing back into my normal clothes, and we are NEVER going to speak of this again."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the girl's bathroom, Gumi had put one of the toilet lids down and was sitting on top of it, still waiting.

"I wonder what's taking Len so long?" she mused.

* * *

AN - I literally gave up on sleeping at twelve this morning, and since I didn't have anything better to do, I decided to write something. A few hours later, this was finished. This is much sillier than pretty much every other story I've posted (and much shorter, I think), but I feel like it's good to take a break and write something silly once in a while. Also, Gumi/Rinto crackpairing much? Yeah, I don't really know where that came from.

And now I'm off to sleep... or to consume copious amounts of tea, whichever happens first.


End file.
